Werth: Please, stop typing so loud.
Wise: Did someone celebrate his faux Irish heritage too much last night?
Werth: There’s some Irish on my Grandfather’s side... and yes.
Werth: Four Tylenol washed down with a fifth of Cointreau?
Wise: Alcoholic Movies!
Wise: Indeed. When I’m getting my fix of over-imbibing on the silver screen, I like to serve it dry with a twist of old Hollywood glamor and a splash of 80’s bitters.
Werth: Sounds like you’re going to dunk Joan Collins’ “Dynasty” shoulder pads into a mug of Old Grandad.
Werth: Razzmatazz that will drive a body straight to Jenny Craig.
Werth: That would make a great Halloween costume.
Werth: I liked seeing Conrad Bain get some post-“Diff’rent Strokes” work.
Werth: I find that the best way to cure a Dennis Quaid overdose is to hit rock-bottom with the drunkenly delightful Dudley Moore in 1981’s Arthur.
Wise: Not to be confused with the Russell Brand re-make that comes out April 8th.
Wise: Isn’t that how you spend your days?
Werth: Just Saturdays. Arthur’s boozey life gets a wake-up call from his father, however, when he is told he has to marry heiress Susan Johnson (a pre- L.A. Law Jill Eikenberry) or be written off without a sou.
Wise: There are worse things than marrying an heiress.
Wise: What’s a drunk millionaire to do?
Werth: What really makes this movie work is its total devotion to its lead character. Dudley Moore waltzes effortlessly across the screen as a winsome drunk. His pathetic-ness is charming, his social faux pas endearing, his care and love for Hobson heart-touching. The film doesn’t make us pity Arthur’s drunkenness. In fact, we wait anxiously for his next bender. But it also doesn’t glorify his drinking problem. As grand a caricature as Arthur is, he feels utterly human. And with spot-on supporting performances from Gielgud, Minnelli, Barney Martin and Geraldine Fizgerald, Arthur’s life doesn’t make us want to run to an AA Meeting, but to the arms of someone we love.
Werth: And if any theme song could give you a hangover, Christopher Cross’ could.
Wise: No worries. You and our faithful readers can just put an ice pack on your heads and tune in next week for more intoxicating Film Gab!