Wise: Happy Gab-iversary to you too, Werth. It's hard to believe that another year has passed, full of thrills, chills, and the eternal cage match between Joan and Bette.
Werth: Joan would never put herself in a cage.
Wise: And what better way to kick off a celebration of ourselves, except by revisiting some of our most popular posts from the past year, including one celebrating the birthday of one of Hollywood's biggest stars: Kirk Douglas. There's nothing better than sharing some cake with a guy who looks great in a loincloth and whose talent is even bigger than the cleft in his chin.
Werth: But we're not all about lantern jaws here at Film Gab because sometimes we get a hankering for the softer side of things, like dudes in dresses.
Wise: Or the stranger side, like when we discussed Hollywood's oddball auteur David Lynch.
Werth: Fun Film Gab fact: Kyle MacLachlan's tuckus is almost as popular among Film Gab readers as Julian Sands' rump.
Wise: Talk about a celebrity cage match!
Werth: One of the biggest defeats at the box office this year was Disney's John Carter, a sci-fi flop overstuffed with Martians, mayhem, and Taylor Kitsch attempting to act through his abs. We had much better luck with our voyages with time and space traveling hunks.
Wise: Of course we're not adverse to disasters, especially when it gives us a chance to revisit a modern classic like Titanic and plunge into shipboard romances of various stripes.
Werth: Maybe they would have had better luck forming a ragtag band of misfits determined to fight injustice instead of getting caught up in the pitfalls of romance.
Werth: We here at Film Gab have a penchant for great actresses, especially those with long and varied careers who aren't afraid to get a little pig's blood on their hands.
Wise: So, Werth, are there any entries from the past year that you wish had attracted more readers?
Werth: Well I'm still mourning the loss of gap-toothed classic Ernest Borgnine. A 61-year career in Hollywood deserves props... even with films like Bunny O'Hare on his resume. What about you, Wise?
Wise: I'd have to say that our salute to Hollywood's funny ladies is one of my favorites. It's just too bad that a giggly blonde never got a chance to share the big screen with a legendary fast-talking brunette.
Werth: I know one silver screen pair that's destined for more laughs.
Wise: Join us for another rollicking year of leading ladies, Hollywood toughs, big budget bonanzas, gut busting comedies—
Werth: —And the finer side of Julian Sands.